• Drove to Kroger. 
• Shopped.
• Got to the checkout.
• Realized I lost my debit card somewhere during my day.
• Realized I had no cash.
• Stormed out to my car, pouting the entire way.
• Received an angry two-knuckle knock on my driver’s side window from a Kroger employee, demanding that I return the goods that I had just stolen from the store.
• Explained to her that I lost my debit card and couldn’t pay for my things, which is why I left them sitting at the U-Scan. Apologized for being lazy and not putting my things back on the shelves. Further explained that I had no interest in stealing anything from her store, and that I was sorry for any misunderstanding.
• Received a pointed index finger to the face from said employee, who says that she is going inside to check the security camera and that I will be banned from the store PERMANENTLY if I don’t return the bag of shit that she saw me steal.
• Frowned. Awkwardly put my car into drive and made my way home.
• Vigorously searched my car for anything I may have accidentally stolen. Found my cell phone charger. 

Thanks, lady. I’ve been looking for that forever.